That's Life...

Life is just that, life. It takes inumerable forms at any given time.

I had recently gotten the job. I had only been there a couple of months. Someone told me there was a new assistant manager. He had been transferred in from another store. I was ringing someone's order up when I made a mistake and had to call for a manager's key. To this day I don't remember what it was that I said to him. I just remember I thought it was stupid, stupid enough to make a 28 year old have a sudden hot flash. Of course it also may have had something to do with the fact that I had suddenly swallowed my tongue. You see, I don't remember meeting him before that and I think I would have definitely remembered. He was cute, tall, and on top of that he also seemed to be a really nice guy. Whatever it was that I had said hadn't seemed to bother him. He came and helped me with a smile on his face. A gorgeous, cute, handsome smile.

After that I seemed to almost have a built-in radar for Martin. He was such a nice guy. He treated everyone like he would want to be treated. I'd watch him walk around doing projects in the store. He was always working. He'd never ask you to do something that he wouldn't do himself. If he was there, it made the shift go quicker. I'd find myself watching him and wondering if that area in the front of his hair naturally stood up a little or if it was because he pushed it back a lot.

I already had a good-sized crush on him. Of course the only person that knew that besides me was my roommate. I think I probably gave myself away when I would regularly stop paying attention to what I was doing in order to inconspicuously watch him walk by. One day I went to take my break and he was in the breakroom having his lunch. I started talking to him, when I realized that he was praying. He was saying grace. I immediately apologized for interrupting him. He assured me it was okay and then finished. I was amazed. I couldn't tell you the last time that I had seen someone say grace, let alone in public. That really impressed me. Most people don't have the guts to do it. I may have not been into religion but I respected that he was following his beliefs without making others feel like they were imposing or trying to stuff it down their throats. Don't get me wrong. I completely believed in God. He'd gotten me through alot. I just had never been one for organized religion. For some reason my beliefs had always been a very private thing for me. Even though it wasn't something that I would have been doing, I really admired Martin for not being afraid to follow his beliefs even when he was in public. So now my ever-growing crush is joined by admiration and respect.

Work had become an enjoyable experience when Martin was there. I didn't even have to be working directly with him. Just having him in the store was soothing to me. Of course all of these feelings were getting me nowhere. Why would he ever want to do anything with me? Yes, I might be a nice person. In fact a good person. I really care about people. But that good person happens to be wrapped in a body that is overweight and a little top-heavy. I'm not bad looking but I don't have beauty pageant body. He's so good looking he could date anyone. Why would he ever go out with me? I'm the kind of person that everyone wants to be a friend with but no one seems to want to date. Even if my appearance was something that by some miracle didn't matter to him, I had found out that he was eight years older than me. To me, that was nothing. I had never dated much but of those that I had, the youngest was probably 10 year my senior. So eight years was nothing. He didn't seem to share the feeling. I had overheard him talking with one of the other employees and he teasingly said that I was really young. I was crushed. Oh well, though. If I have no chance at ever dating him then I can at least relax and focus on being a friend.